As a child, I never felt validated. I very much felt as though my feelings didn’t matter at all, to anyone, like a whisper lost in a cacophony of indifference. I felt dismissed, blamed, and shamed, as if my emotions were merely an inconvenience to those around me. Those feelings of isolation followed me into adulthood, where I found myself doing the same things to…well…ummm…myself. I became my own worst critic, perpetuating a cycle of self-doubt and negativity, seeing every misstep as a validation of my inadequacy, and convincing myself that I was unworthy of love and understanding.
It took a few years of therapy before I realized my feelings were valid and they didn’t have to make sense to anyone but me. During this journey, I learned to navigate the complex landscape of my emotions, gradually understanding that each feeling I experienced carried significance, even when they seemed overwhelming or confusing. It took a minute to recognize that I was a human being with feelings that could never be invalid because they are my feelings. Embracing this truth liberated me; I found strength in acknowledging my emotions, allowing me to process them rather than suppressing or denying their existence. I began to appreciate the depth of my experiences, understanding that being in touch with my feelings was a crucial part of my healing and growth, ultimately leading to a more authentic version of myself.
Unfortunately, as a mother, I can’t say I did much better at validating my kids when they were young. I often found myself overwhelmed with the daily challenges of parenting, which made it difficult to recognize and appreciate their individual needs and feelings. I’m changing all of that now, as I realize the importance of nurturing their emotional well-being. Even though they are adults and navigating their own lives, it’s not too late to repair our relationships. I am committed to reaching out to them, actively listening to their experiences, and showing them the love and validation that every child deserves, no matter their age. By fostering open communication and understanding, I hope to build a stronger bond with them that can stand the test of time.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to self-validate and to validate others. By recognizing our own worth and affirming our feelings, we empower ourselves to face life’s challenges with confidence. Simultaneously, when we extend this practice to others, we foster an environment of acceptance and understanding. This mutual support creates a ripple effect, contributing to a more compassionate society where we can lift each other up and make each other stronger. In doing so, we not only enhance our own lives but also inspire those around us to embark on their journeys of self-discovery and growth, forging deeper connections and creating a community grounded in empathy and respect.
My Phoenix Rising 