So I went to the dentist for the first time in a long, since before Covid-19, and the outcome was not what I was expecting or hoping for. The seventeen teeth I have left all need to be pulled out due to rampant tooth decay. I will need a full set of dentures.
My tooth decay is not entirely my fault although I do take some responsibility. There are several medications I take that have dry mouth as a side effect. Having a dry mouth makes your teeth vulnerable to cavities. Genetics plays a part in tooth decay as does using a quit smoking aid like lozenges, grinding your teeth and clenching your jaw. Depression can cause tooth decay in that a I tend to neglect my personal hygiene until the depression lifts.
I had to have several teeth pulled out a few years ago. I was supposed to go back to the dentist after having the last six pulled out but then Covid-19 happened. It has taken me this long to work up the courage to go back. In that time my teeth have decayed to the point of no return. Because I have to have so many removed at once it will be done at the hospital under general anesthetic.
I feel really crappy about it, I am full of anxiety surrounding my upcoming oral surgery. I’m really trying to not obsess over it but that’s easier said than done. It’s like I can’t focus on anything else. I’m imagining waking up in the hospital completely toothless and wondering what my actual reaction is going to be. I can’t see it being a good one.
From now until surgery I will have just keep using distractions to curb my anxiety. I will need to be compassionate towards myself as I respond to the negative internal dialogue. I will need reminders that losing my teeth isn’t entirely my fault, there are a number of contributing factors. Now is a good time to practice radical acceptance. It just is what it is.
My Phoenix Rising 