Our basement flooded with the very heavy rains we had in July and we are still in the midst of cleaning it up. My partner and I were very fortunate as we lost very little compared to some folks. My partner grabbed the most valuable things from the basement before water got to them but we did lose some furniture. Everything else from the basement was relocated to the living room, there isn’t much space left to be comfortable.
We had to pull up the carpet ourselves as all the restoration companies had more calls than they could handle. We also had to cut the drywall out ourselves (bottom four inches) and now we are waiting to find out our next steps from the insurance company.
Having the house upside down like this is extremely triggering for me. My second ex-husband was mentally and emotionally abusive, and I was with him for fifteen long years. When we bought our house in New Brunswick we had plans for improvements but very few of them ever came to fruition. My house though, was torn apart little by little and by the time I left I didn’t even have a kitchen.
The ex also bought a small apartment building and I had to go help him with the renovations. We tore up carpet, laid new flooring, all kinds of things. The apartments were looking better than my house at the time. We fought and argued all the time, I resented that stupid building.
The disarray of my home now is bringing back some unwelcome memories and feelings. Feelings of anger, resentment, fear and uncertainty. I know my partner will get things done, it’s just a matter of having a little patience. The contractors I’ve spoken with are busy until mid-September so I have to wait until at least then to get anything done downstairs and reclaim my living room.
In the meantime, I escape my house a couple of nights a week with a friend. We usually go for a walk or a drive and coffee. If there is a nice day on the weekend she and I try to get out to the beach. I remind myself this is not the same situation as back then. My partner is not at all like my ex-husband. There’s no need to worry things won’t get done, or that I’ll live in a perpetual construction site, or that we’ll fight and argue over the details, or that I’ll get stuck doing the lion’s share of the work.
My Phoenix Rising 