The radio silence between my youngest daughter and me has broken. She has been reaching out to me from time to time. I’ve missed her very much and it is good to hear from her. I’ve been keeping my end of the conversation light and non-intrusive. I let her lead the conversation to wherever she needs it to go and we’ve had conversations lasting up to three hours.
I’m careful not to bring up painful things from the past and I focus on the present. I think for her part, she does the same. Revisiting our falling out a year and a half ago wouldn’t be helpful to anyone. We don’t walk on eggshells with each other though. I don’t hold her responsible for my triggers, I own those. If she says something triggering to me I let her know it’s not a topic I’m prepared to discuss at that time, and she does the same. Fortunately, this does not happen often, we’re both pretty much on the same page.
There is still a distance between us and I can’t stay with her when I visit. It will take time to close the distance but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to stay with her again. We disagree on the Bible and God (she’s a believer and I am not), and she does not approve of my cannabis use. Since we both feel strongly about our positions on these two very fundamental subjects, it’s better I don’t stay with her. Having said that, she only requests that I don’t smoke any cannabis just before seeing her and my granddaughter, which I am fine with.
We don’t talk about the Bible or God. It’s very triggering for me for several reasons so she knows not to bring it up. I don’t bring up what nonsense it is or try to make her an atheist like me. It’s not my place to control her beliefs or what she thinks. We both know the topic is off limits and respect that. There are plenty of other things to talk about.
My Phoenix Rising 