My stepdaughter stopped talking to me a few years ago, I’m not sure why but ever since then I’d been sending loving messages to let her know I was thinking of her and hoped she was doing well. My patience has finally paid off. She replied to me and it and we had a wonderful conversation via text. It blew my mind, I thought I had lost her forever. We didn’t get into why she stopped talking to me, it didn’t seem to be as important as reconnecting.
She talked about some struggles she had overcome over the last few years and brought me up to speed on what’s happening in her life. She told me her child is a transgender girl and described the amazing support they receive from family, friends and the community. I was so glad, and relieved, to know they had so much support.
She told me she and her father are best friends and that he has changed. I said I was happy for her. She said she didn’t want to discuss her father beyond that so we were able to set a boundary right away by agreeing her father had no place in our conversations.
I’m having trouble sorting out my feelings. On one hand I was overjoyed to hear from her and so glad she is willing to reconnect. On the other hand talking to her was triggering for me. It brought back a lot of unwanted memories and feelings that actually have nothing to do with her, they are all about the ex. It is my hope that my reaction will settle over time as she and I talk more; and without any mention of her father.
I would have liked to have shared more about where I am in my life but I am being cautious as I don’t know how much she is inclined to talk to her father about me. My life isn’t a big secret, it’s just none of his business.
My Phoenix Rising 