What is radical acceptance and how does it help? Let’s break it down; radical means all the way, complete and total; it’s ceasing to fight reality, stopping tantrums and letting go of bitterness. It’s accepting reality as it is; that facts from the past cannot be changed; that everything has a cause; and life can be worth living even with painful events in it.
By accepting reality as it is I can move on with my life without being stuck in unhappiness, anger, bitterness, sadness or shame, or other painful emotions. That’s not to say these emotions won’t come, they will; and maybe I’ll feel sorrow but I’ll be able to move past it, it doesn’t have to hijack my whole day.
I can virtually guarantee that rejecting reality equals suffering. I’ve done it long enough to know. I’ve shed countless tears, locked myself away for months and drank myself stupid more than once all in an effort to run from reality.
It isn’t always easy to recognize when I am trying to reject reality so I look for the signs like anger, bitterness, annoyance, and avoiding emotions. I watch for questions like “Why me?”, “Why is this happening?” and statements like, “I can’t stand this.” and “It shouldn’t be this way.”
Applying radical acceptance has helped me stop destructive behaviours like hiding from my pain at the bottom of a bottle, sabotaging myself and my relationships, and texting or calling people to confront them. Of course I’m tempted at times but it doesn’t solve anything nor does it help me, I just end up suffering.
My Phoenix Rising 