Years ago I tended bar at a “local watering hole”. It was all regulars and I knew everyone’s drink order. There was this businessman and his buddy who came in three to four days a week and drink . The businessman would drink himself into a stupor whilst his buddy would drink a little slower. I would have gladly cut them both off but my boss back then told me not to. She needed the business. In hindsight I regret not cutting them off, it would have been the right thing to do.
My boss often comped him a pizza and he liked hot peppers on it. I can’t stand spicy food, it feels like I ate the sun. On one of the many occasions he and his buddy got drunk and ate their complimentary pizza, the businessman looked at me straight in my face and asked me if he could have sex with me. he was quite serious.
The nerve! I was aghast. Who does that? I felt so disrespected and objectified. I wanted to climb over the bar and choke the life out of him. Instead I simply replied, “Nah man, you just had pizza with hot peppers.”
He and his buddy laughed and then his buddy said, “How about me, then?”
I replied, “Nah man, you had the same pizza!”
The humour in my replies allowed the men to save face without feeling completely rejected. The problem is that I was embarrassed and put on the spot; objectified and disrespected and I was expected to just put up with it. These days I have more confidence and stronger boundaries, and would probably report the business for over serving and leave the job.
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My Phoenix Rising 