Well That Didn’t Go As Fucking Planned

I’m cutting my visit short because my daughter decided to tell me after a few days of already being there that she couldn’t accept my marijuana use (I use it for pain and to be able to function) which put me in a bind. She claims she didn’t say anything earlier because she wanted to see me and since I didn’t have another place to stay I wouldn’t have been able to come if I couldn’t bring my weed.

She said she would accept CBD only but because there are benefits to the THC as well it’s like asking me to give up part of my medicine. She claims anything that is mind or mood altering is not acceptable. I told her everything I take is mind and mood altering; Gabapentin is a mind drug which can make things cloudy; Cyclobenzaprine is a muscle relaxer that fogs the mind and make me sleepy; Effexor is an anti-depressant; Abilify is an anti-depressant (it doesn’t get more mind or mood altering than that); my thyroid and progesterone medications help make me function; and weed, well, it does the same damn thing and helps with pain.

Trying to explain this to someone who only listens to religious nut-bars who think they know everything is an exercise in futility. I feel that my daughter is taking things too far with her biblical bullshit. Needless to say we had words. I had to leave there before I said something I really regretted beyond what I had already said in anger. I didn’t say good-bye to my granddaughter because I was so upset and angry with my daughter and son-in-law. It would not have a good scene for her to witness.

Adding insult to injury, on Friday night after some arguing with my daughter, my son-in-law said he could drive me to my son’s to visit my other grandchildren. Saturday comes and at the eleventh hour they decide to let me know they wanted me to to find another drive. If I was to leave her house, I had no place else to go, I can’t afford a hotel so I would have had to go home on the Sunday. Saturday would have been the only day I would have been able to see them and my son only has limited time with them, and they knew that. They knew I didn’t have any other means to get out to my son’s place that day.

I was furious and deeply hurt as I stormed out on Sunday. Thankfully my son offered me a place to stay so I did get to see his kids. I still hope I can go to my granddaughter’s birthday but I’m not holding my breath. I believe my granddaughter is upset with me because I didn’t say goodbye, she isn’t responding to my messages right now, and it’s perfectly understandable. I’m not sure if my daughter would welcome the idea of me being there anyway.