I know it sounds ridiculous but kinky folks could really teach us a thing or two about consent. What kinky people refer to as “play” is negotiated before it can begin. The person who is the top or dominant will ask the bottom or submissive where they are allowed to touch and how. Safe words are agreed upon, most commonly used are; green for more/harder; yellow for slow down/ease off; and red for stop everything right now.
There are different types of top/bottom relationships ranging from master/slave relationships to casual play partner relationships and everything in between including monogamous and polyamorous relationships. Some top/bottom relationships go so far as to have contracts outlining what each partner is responsible for and what limits they have; a soft limit means the boundary may be negotiable in the future; a hard limit is an absolutely no way, not ever so don’t ask.
A contract might also cover anything from who does the dishes to how often they engage in play. It’s all about what two people decide between themselves and these limits are respected on both sides. If not, the kink community is pretty good about policing themselves and would expel that person from public events plus word would spread like wildfire. It is understood that consent can be withdrawn at any time, hence the safe word “red” for stop everything right now.
During conversations many people will communicate clear boundaries around what they will and will not discuss. For some, talking about any kind of domestic violence is triggering and they will let you know the subject is off limits.
Polyamorous relationships even have rules which have been negotiated in advance and revisited every time something changes. This is not to be confused with swinging, although there are limits in that world too. I’m talking about solid relationships that can go on for years. In a polyamorous relationship they might negotiate how many nights a week person A spends with person B and with person C, and so on. It’s all about consent.
My Phoenix Rising 