Something Changed

I got a subscription to Disney+ more or less for my granddaughter for passing grade three. I got it about two weeks ago and my daughter still hasn’t told my granddaughter about it. I don’t even think she checked it out herself to see what she would and wouldn’t allow my granddaughter to watch (she is very Christian and limits shows and movies). She finally texted me about it this morning.

She said that they are trying to limit screen time as a family and wouldn’t get any use out of Disney+ (she also has access my Amazon Prime Video). There was a time I would have gotten upset and said something like, “Why not? There’s a lot of great stuff on there for kids. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”…etc…My feelings would have been hurt and it would have felt like a personal rejection. But…something changed…

First a little background: My children lived primarily with their father and I was the accessing parent. Their father is an alcoholic and was very controlling of them. My daughter witnessed what her older brother went trough when he tried to speak up and learned to keep her mouth shut. If we went to McDonald’s for a bite to eat she would have trouble communicating what she wanted, her father would just always order for her. I, on the other hand, would tell her to speak up and tell the lady at the cash what she wanted. Other times I would act rejected or hurt if she didn’t really want something I offered her. As a result she still, to this day, has trouble communicating what she wants and doesn’t want and it is with this understanding and my own personal growth that I was able to change the way I responded to her.

I let her know that I understood how hard it can be for her to speak up but I was glad she did. I told her there was no need to apologize as there are lots of things I would watch anyway so it isn’t a waste of money for me right now. I let her know I was proud of her for speaking up. This was a vastly different response than she would have gotten from me a couple of years ago.

I can clearly see her growth and the work she is doing, I’m so proud of her. I also see the growth in me vis a vis my reaction. I believe our own personal growth will only serve to strengthen our relationship and our bond.

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